MEGnificent days

Fray

2009-06-23T21:24:00.001-07:00

Today at work we were asked to do a short little "art project" to learn about our clients doing art and how art therapy works, etc. Seemed simple enough.. fold the paper in half, on one side draw why you like working here, on the other side anything you want. Pick one type of "materials" to use and get going. I chose classic crayola markers, just because I figured if kids can use them, perhaps I've got a shot. Little did I know how much would come out in this ten minute marker drawing. I ended up using multiple colors in a pattern to draw a bit of a woven tapestry, which was actually a blanket- but on it's fringes it began to unravel. That blanket was placed on the top of a couch, under a window, with a soft and friendly lamp bringing light to the whole setting on the side of the couch. Of course when it was time to share our art with others, and everyone tried to guess what my piece was about.. no one could come close. You see, the fraying blanket represents my life. Although I believe God has postured me in his grace, and therefore a place of peace and tranquility- in the midst of that place I feel like my life is unraveling and coming apart. In the past few months I've been through so much internally that I don't know how to express externally. My entire identity of who and what I thought I was called to do has been challenged and re-evaluated. Friendships I thought meant something turned out to be not what I thought. The natural transitions of life leave me positioned that those who I care about most are physically relocating far away from me. Family relationships once in tact have not only strained, but are slowly disappearing. I've been challenged to risk love, allow my heart to experience feeling- the absolute hardest and scariest thing God's asked me to do in a very long time.... only to find out that love is not reciprocated. My first opportunity to belong in a household of stability and security was short lived... incredible, but no more. I always thought my life was one huge tapestry being woven together piece by piece.... but it's as if for whatever reason God is pulling the knitting needles out and realizing the past few rows need to be done again- because he is not just creating a blanket, He's creating His masterpiece. So although in the midst of tears and confusion- I'm so thankful for this peaceful place and position- in the secret place of his tabernacle he shall hide me. My God is always faithful, and He is always good.

misunderstood.

2008-12-01T22:38:00.000-08:00

I had two encounters today that both thouroughly bothered me. In the first encounter it felt as though I was made out to be "over- reacting" or exaggerating or something along those lines... but really, I wasn't trying to do that. I was actually expressing genuine concern for the person who was complaining... but then after I tried to speak up in her behalf and the authority figured addressed it with her, she basically laughed at me and said I misunderstood her. I was so confused- because although perhaps I did misunderstand her, now I'm wondering if she misunderstood me.

Later this same day this same woman made a very racially charged comment to me. The part that was so deeply painful to me was the fact that she assumed I would have naturally agreed with her extermely bigeted, ignorant and racist comment. I was so appalled - anger was boiling up inside of me but I knew that wouldn't get me anywhere. I felt helpless- it sucked. How to fight this shniza in a professional world...its so exhausting.

Yet as I was processing these two events later this evening I thought about my savior... How misunderstood he must have been. He was misunderstood- but he didn't have a need to prove himself, because it didn't matter to him- He knew who he was.

I suppose that naturally as a Christ follower I approach most situations in life already at odds- ready to be misunderstood.

What is it in me that wrestles with this emotion?

my life song

2008-10-23T22:55:00.000-07:00

Lord you know my heart, the pain it's felt, lying so deep within.
But Lord you know my dreams, desires that remain, I still love you- with all that I am.

As for now, here I am. I long only for your plan. As for now, here I am. May I walk with you... again?

Prince of all peace, may my faith you increase- as I trust in your Word. My future what will it bring? My heart it longs to know...but I won't question, just believe.

Surprise change of seasons...

2008-10-20T22:36:00.000-07:00

I was recently talking with an incredible woman of God who has been speaking truth into my life in the past few months... and this is what she shared:

She was sharing about an analogy of our spiritual journey as the seasons of the year. Spring represents a time in which you're hearing God speak so much to you... words are fresh and constant, you can feel the blooming taking place. Spring of course is followed by Summer, in which a visible consistency of much fruit allows you to soar from one day to the next. As this season of summer comes to an end, a season of pruning back, cutting away - all of a sudden your summer surge comes to an end and you realize that things are a bit painful as this pruning back takes place. Winter comes and it seems as though God is now completely silent... Whatever did happen to that time of many words that is now a faint memory?

So I realized that all of a sudden this weekend I have abruptly moved from an incredible spring and summer right smack into Fall. Why this weekend? I wish I knew how to answer that myself... but boy did it come unexpectedly.

The exciting part is that I know pruning always results in MORE fruit.. which is my heart's desire. Please pray for me, as my heart is fragile right now. I long to know my savior more intimately- I long to seek his face to the point that I know his direction by the way his eyes direct.

The funniest part of this surprise is that I've been whinning the past three weeks about how tired of summer I am and how badly I miss the beautiful Oregon fall... hmmm maybe we should be careful as to what we pray for ;)

Just when you think you have it figured out....

2008-10-02T21:29:00.001-07:00

Have you ever noticed how just when you think you've got life figured out God completely changes things around... friendly sovereignty reminder I suppose. God is funny ya know. It's been an interesting few weeks because all of a sudden everything I thought I knew so confidently I no longer do... in fact I feel at quite a loss. I don't feel "bad" about it or anything...actually at peace and just fine... but just at a total loss. Once again, here I am waiting for the surprises of God to unfold.

hmmm another important thing to share: most soy ice cream alternatives are not really good at all, but if eaten in small enough quantities it still seems like a treat.. however, I tried the Trader Joe's Soy Cream Cherry Chocolate Chunk tonight and it was SO GOOD! Significantly better than any other soy substitute I've had... just thought I should share for all my non-dairy friends.

and as a point of encouragement- this has been my verse of the week: "Call to me and I will answer you. I will show you great and mighty things which you do not know!" Jer. 33:3

Wisdom and Faith?

2008-09-04T23:21:00.001-07:00

I've been wrestling this week thinking about the combination of wisdom and faith. For some reason in my mind when I think of these words two opposing pictures come to mind. Wisdom brings prudence, thoughtfulness, caution, logic, etc while Faith makes me think of excitement, obedience, trusting, and going for it even if you can't hold all of the pieces together yourself. It's interesting though, because really these two actions ought to work together. I'm not really sure what else to say about this... except... how does it work? How can I live with wisdom in my decisions- and yet remain in faith when my faith may be to stick to a direction that doesn't appear to be a wise decision? So my mind then tracks back to perhaps the practice of faith, which is often the expression of obedience... is in itself wisdom because it's coming into alignment with the direction of God- who knows best.... so in this way a faith action is actually wisdom expressed... i suppose that could put my mind at ease for a moment, but then it shorty doubts that initial faith based decision. aay ye ye. I'm learning... little by little.

The Goodness of my God....

2008-07-17T22:58:00.001-07:00

I've been so overwhelmed by the goodness of my God these past few weeks- Everyday I feel as though my heart is leaping on the inside and joy is pouring into everything I think and do. God has done it again, and blown my mind out of the water, providing another "too good to be true" job. Check this: I was hired the first week of July to work from July 1- Aug 27th with a week of pre-determined vacation, full time! That in itself is a miracle...but it gets better. This job is not only paying better than I expected... but its full of my hearts passions and is meaningful to me. In this job I get the chance to write curriculum with a new set of learners, I get to assist a man in opening an orphanage and setting up his 501c3, I get to assist in the office of an incredible day program facility for developmentally disabled adults...which is such an incredible place to work and learn. Not only these things, but there is potential that I can help in developing the beginning stages of an afterschool program for children with developmental disabilities. How incredible is the Lord? I'm having the time of my life... and who would have thought? God is so good- When we seek him first, he adds all things to us... my cares and concerns for a car... God provided a great car I love... my cares and concerns for a job... God provided a great job that not only do I feel is meaningful to me, but that is causing me to grow and be stretched and learn - its a great experience. The Lord just keeps blessing me... He truly is the giver of abundant life, and good gifts to his children- and I know he's not done yet...there is so much more to come.

Post Graduation= Weird

2008-06-29T14:49:00.000-07:00

Graduation Party! Sara, myself and Alissa looking ready for the real world!
Miss Vanny Schmanny doing her groove thang!
Ashley looking beautiful on her wedding day!
Em came to visit!!! YAAAAAY!
My mom and I in Ensenada on the cruise stop

So It's been a month since graduation now... and I can say, while its been a nice release for my head... I'm starting to wonder what I'm supposed to do with myself. I constantly feel guilty for not reading, doing homework, or feeling that I'm busy enough. This is probably wrong.. but it's just how it feels. I've hung out with people more than ever before- its been fun, but so strange. At the same time, I need a job. I need a job that is only for a short amount of time but that will let me work a lot of hours... hmm don't really know. I think once I start working again I will feel better, because right now I feel like I'm doing nothing productive and it's a hard place to be.

This month has been interesting, however. I was able to vacation on a four day cruise with my parents and brother, which was a nice break from stress land. I then returned to pack up my room and move yet again. This time in with a wonderful couple from my church, who have graciously opened their home to me. I couldn't be more blessed...its truly an incredible gift. After moving I finished my job at the elementary school, only to realize that until I have another reliable car, I really am not going to be able to get another job. So... first Emily came to visit and we hung out for 3 fantastic days... then I went to Oregon. The trip to Oregon was primarily to purchase a car (which I did, its an awesome older 4runner), but in the mean time I attended long-time friends wedding celebration and saw a bunch of people I haven't seen in a long time. Again, weird, but good at the same time. So finally I'm back in SoCal, glad to be here, and thankful for the home I have... yet not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing this summer...feeling a bit lost and directionless. It's a bit lonely as all my friends are now scattered throughout the nation- and I've recently been realizing that I don't really know how to make friends anymore. It was simple in college; you were either in class together or living together so becoming friends wasn't too tough- now it's not quite the same.

In the midst of a very odd month, however, I know in my spirit that God is up to something, and it's something good. I'm more hungry for His word than I have ever been before, and I'm longing to move to higher heights and deeper depths in relationship with him. All around me people are getting married and engaged...it seems like another person every weekend... yet in the midst of all of that all my heart longs for is to know my God more, and to understand what He is desiring for me.

Here are some random pictures for updating :0)

Adjustments

2008-06-03T00:13:00.001-07:00

So many changes have occured in the past few weeks... Only a few weeks ago I was crazily abandoning sleep, relationships, and everything else in life in order to make it to graduation day. And then so fast it came and went... My family traveled down to be here, my friends came and we partied it up all night- I am so blessed. My family then took a trip, which is worth a whole blog entry of itself... but I come back and all my roommates are gone- I'm moving in one week, my job is over in 9 days...and I really have no idea what to do with myself.
College is one long season of instability. Not only that, but my car was totaled by a drunk driver a few weeks ago... which leaves me without a vehicle. God has been so faithful to provide one every moment I've needed thus far.. so all glory to him- yet to say, just when I thought life was getting settled and normal... it's not. I have a sense that this is not going to be untypical of the future God has prepared for me. I will likely be a traveling missionary- not living an "unstable" life, but one in which HE is my only Rock- my fortress and my God.
God is teaching me to find his presence in the midst of the storm. For a while I would pray that the storm would go away and I would beg to know why God allowed me to be in the storm- but now I'm learning that God allows me to hide in the shadow of his wings, right in the middle of the storm, but not be affected by it. It is here in this secret place, that I have a front row seat to watch the power of displayed HE calms the storm.
So taking it one day at a time is pretty much my motto right now... each day has enough troubles of its own. and I have nothing but praise and thanksgiving to my Father.. who has been so faithful. I graduated from Biola- a place I never thought I would be able to afford or go to... I have had a car provided for me whenever its been needed... I am moving into free housing this summer, the fulfillment of God's word to me. He is great and greatly to be praised!

SAY Yes Students Benefit Musical ;)

2008-04-29T15:12:00.001-07:00

YOU WANT TO BE HERE! FRIDAY, MAY 9, 7:00pm Sutherland!!!! YAAAAY
(click on the flyer to see it full size)

Even the Rocks Cry Out His Praise!

2008-04-19T23:34:00.000-07:00

God is so good. Today I was able to spend some time away from urbanized civilization and hike up the desert hills of southern California. Not quite Oregon glories, but still a breath of (almost) fresh air. I love to hike. I love the wonder of seeing new growth, fresh blossomed wildflowers and green lush all around me. Trees and shrubbery left untouched and able to grow naturally is the most amazing thing to me. I love to examine where and why the the dirt breaks up at which point, or how in the world that tree grew with its roots totaly coming sideways out of the mountain... or why is there this random orange flower in the midst of purple buds surrounding it? Creation is simply incredible to me.
The further away from the man made attempt at beauty I am the more at peace my soul becomes. It's like it simply enters into the worship session already declaring the glory of God- creation displayed in its pure splendor. While walking today I was reminded of the passage in Matthew in which Jesus tells us not to worry. After telling us not to worry he says to look at the lilies and how they grow, how they are clothed with splendor, even though they do not toil nor spin- and yet, their heavenly father has clothed them. How much more does he care for me? I should not worry about what I should eat, or what I should wear... for each day has enough worries of its own. He is Jehovah Jireh, Hallelujah.
While walking I was also reminded of my summer two years ago, in Malawi, Africa. Malawi without question is the most impoverished place I've ever seen- and yet, in the midst of that, while hiking from village to village in the bush - there was such a peace my heart felt in that country. I think that peace came in the fact that the land brought for worship in my spirit in a different way than anywhere else I've been. I thank you Lord for the beautiful Malawians I was able to meet two summers ago. Father bless Malawi, the warm heart of Africa.
"the universe declares your majesty, you are holy....holy."

Dr. Clyde Cook

2008-04-14T13:51:00.000-07:00

Mr. Biola had a heart attack and went home to be with our Lord on Friday evening. It came so unexpectedly- and really I don't know that it's impact has hit the Biola community at this point. It's amazing to me how God's grace allowed Dr. Cook to enjoy all the Centennial celebrations, and also that Biola really is okay at at this point, in terms of Dr. Corey's recent innaguration.

Dr. Cook will always carry a legacy at Biola, and I hope to be one to celebrate that legacy as I live out my life in a way I believe he would be proud of. How many college campuses would actually sell out "I <3 Clyde" shirts? So often a leader, often a president, will take the grunt and really annoying grievances of everyones whinning- but Dr. Cook's was so cherished at Biola. He was cherished because of his deep and sincere love for Biola and Biola students. He was such a humble man, who never walked around with a sense of being better than anyone else. I would never have been intimidated or felt out of place to walk up and greet Dr. Cook, if he hadn't taken the initiative to greet me first.
I can remember one time I was wearing an OREGON sweatshirt in the Caf...he came up and asked me if I had transferred or was just from Oregon. He then started asking me all kinds of questions, taking a sincere interest in who I was and what I was studying at Biola. One might think it would be akward for a student of 5,000 to engage in chatter with their university president, but Dr. Cook would make it not so.
If the Lord ever graces my life to be in a position of leadership in which it would be easy to "forget the little people" as is basically expected in our society, I pray that the Holy Spirit will bring Dr. Cook to my remembrance- that I would be reminded of his example of humility and kindness, never allowing even a air of pride about him.
I thank you Lord for the investment this man made to lead and maintain Biola, which you have used to be a powerful season in my life.

Hudson Taylor

2008-04-07T22:43:00.000-07:00

I'm currently in a class entitled Missionary Biographies. There's really not much to the classwork, allowing it to just be an excuse to read and digest 10 biographies in 16 weeks. It's been a great experience overall..

So far I have found myself experiencing all kinds of emotions as I identify or totally don't identify at all with the development and formation of these usually young men who set sail to live in a totally foreign culture, seeking to bring the gospel to those whose lives were in need of a future and a hope. I really have no concept of the realistic picture of this life that I'm soon to be living- one that is truly laid on the line day after day. Without fail each of the missionaries I've read about so far have encountered persecution, heart ache, death of wives, children, co-workers, etc... yet they've all also experienced God's power revealed in front of their eyes in ways so incredible. At the end of each one's life there is such a tenderness before the Lord, a yearning and longing to be with home with their Father- I wonder what it must be like to know our heavenly father in that way.

This week we finished the biography of Hudson Taylor. Taylor was a British missionary to China in the years of 1830s-1900. His strategies were incredible for his day... although criticized by most as extreme, Taylor truly desired that the Chinese people would have Chinese Christianity, not a Western Christianity. I can only imagine this man as he walked around in Chinese dress, with a shaved head and Bianzi knot... so forward for his time. Taylor was first to say churches should look like Chinese buildlings, not gothic western ones... he was also first to say women ought to be missionaries to other women, not just wives to support their husbands.. so many firsts for Taylor. In this midst of his pioneering work, the book leaves you understanding the faith of this man- a life deeply rooted in prayer- without question or compromise, but total and utter dependence on the promises of God, thanking God for their coming until the day he saw it. This man committed to prayer and fasting for 5 years to see over 1,000 missionaries flood inland China at a time when everyone told him NONE would come... but Taylor prayed the will of God, and watched it pass before his eyes.

My week has been so challenged and encouraged by this man. I have no idea, really, what my life as a 22 year old american female offered to the service of God will begin to unfold and look like... I'm not the author of my story.. and yet I long to leave a legacy like Hudson Taylor did. One that would point others to acknowledge the greatness and grace of God as he gently leads me and allows territory for his kingdom to be won through this broken vessel, this jar of clay.

"When you pray, pray like thats all you do; When you work, work like thats all you do." ( Hudson Taylor)

Special Days

2008-03-28T13:56:00.000-07:00

I currently work as an aide in a SDC or special day class...aka resource or special education. My classroom has 12 4-6th graders, 10 boys and 2 girls. Being my spring break this week, I was able to spend full days at work instead of my usual half days- and I was also able to be 100% mentally present. I've really enjoyed myself this week. I wish everyone had the opportunity to experience working with special ed children... there is something so wonderful about their outlook on life.

Yesterday one of our students was giving a powerpoint presentation on candy. It was classic. Very simplistic pretty much minimal in the powerpoint, but then when asked by a student how the candy is made... this brilliant mind responds with step by step verbatim as to how the book explained it. Complete from memory as if he were reading it. Amazing.

I've also enjoyed so much a room full of kids who sincerely look out for one another and desire to learn. Given they have their own set of distractions, their distractions certainly aren't concerns of who is "cool" or "popular." Their so unaware of it, without worry of being judged by thier peers. It creates a beautiful atmosphere to be a part of.

While some days really are more challenging than others, this week I've felt so blessed to be a part of room 100. Perhaps the saying is cliche, but I really do feel like I've learned more from the kids than I've actually taught them.

Spring or Summer?

2008-03-24T15:31:00.001-07:00

Oh the wonders of Southern California... here it is March 24th- the first day of Spring Break- and already SoCal has jumped to 90 degree summer temperatures. Not that I'm complaining... This past weekend was Easter... which is always fantastic. I think Easter is my favorite morning of the year. There is a sense of deep joy and understanding of redemption filling the houses of God on this day... it's one of the only days of the year I don't mind giving anyone a hug.. haha. For those of you who know me... you know it must be a special day ;) My weekend was blessed as I was able to go to Easter service, followed by a great lunch out with friends who I have come to deeply admire and very much enjoy.. followed again by joining Sus famillia for some serious fiesta time. The day was good. The past few months have been "my waiting period" and they've been so interesting. Not that the waiting is totaly figured out at this point, but so much more is clear than was before. Amazing how God really is faithful to work it all out. It's so fun to watch everything pan out and to realize that the next few seasons ahead are filled with things I've desired to be a part of. I'm going to be able to help in the missions department at my church, as well as teach little ones intercession at a summer ministry school-like program for kids, as well as speaking at the summer camp I grew up in. The Lord is good. There are still a lot of unclear portions of the immediate post-graduation plans.. but overall I'm just blessed. Ready for the big and exciting news...??? God is giving me the desires of my heart- and I will officially be moving to Jinja, Uganda, Africa in January 2009. How good is the Lord?! The plan is to live there for a year as of now (but I have a feeling it will be longer than that). There is much work to do in order to be prepared for this move- but right now my goal is to graduate, so until then I'm just enjoying my excitement and praising the Lord for his faithfulness. I had some recent fun as my high school best friend decided to surprise me by flying here for her spring break. I was so encouraged in her presence, her timing couldn't have been better. It also required a forced break from school- filled instead with play time... what could have been better? We did it all... the beach, farmers market, LA, disneyland, $1 fish tacos, and lots of late night chatting. Knowing that both our lives are on the brinks of major changes, as she is soon to be getting engaged and I am soon to leave the country... we enjoyed the bittersweetness of one life season in rear-view and another to move towards together. I love you Tara! Thus far I really haven't been much of a faithful blogger... but I'm hoping to change that and start it up again. We'll see if it really happens ;)

Picture Updates: 1&2 - Tara surprises me in LA! 3- Roommates and I explore Little Ethiopia, 4 - Sara and I on our way to Sus and Jonathan's concert, 5- Vanessa turns 22!

The Waiting Period

2008-01-17T21:03:00.001-08:00

To any friends and family who may be reading this page...

Here it is mid January and I find myself on the brinks of something. I have had an incredible fall semester- filled with the faithfulness and favor of our Lord, and I couldn't be more grateful. Yet as I'm about to begin my final semester at Biola (ahh!), I sense a fresh season different than ever before in my life.

The past few weeks I have been refreshed by the Word of God. I've been given the opportunity to soak in his presence and suddenly revelation of the GOSPEL is coming so ALIVE in my heart... It's truly not containable. As my understanding of gospel is being renewed, my faith is stirring and my identity as a Christ follower is taking new dimensions. I'm also finding myself beginning to strongly identify with the role of missionary. It's like those deep- in-your-heart dreams are rising up and all of a sudden they are becoming tangible and reality. I am beginning to distinguish the aroma, the form, the sounds.

My heart is longing for the life abundant Christ came suffered and died in order to make the exchange... so that we could live this life abundant rather than our previous track to hell. As I seek this Kingdom... my heart only gets more excited and this earthly realm of life looks so boring, so depressing, so unappealing.

Yes I'm babbling... so forgive me for that. But isn't that what these online journals are for? A vomit of my thoughts splattered all over cyber land? I don't know much, but what I do know is that I am convinced our Heavenly Father has a plan for us FAR FAR FAR FAR GREATER than we can comprehend...and it's available to us as soon as we say yes to God.

For those of you who also want to know the current update of my life events here is the rundown:
- I'm graduating in 17 weeks!!! May 24, 2008
- I'm attending a wonderful church, the rock, and it's challenging me to grow in great ways
- At church I've enjoyed the community there, as well as participating in choir ministry, leading worship with 4-6th graders, attending social service mtgs and events, as well as missions related functions, and young adult intercession prayer mtgs.
- I live with some of the most incredible women on earth. They are a daily blessing in my life and I couldn't be more thankful for each of them.
- I've been blessed with a fantastic job as a special education classroom aide in a 4th-6th grade classroom. I love my job and the kids in our class. They teach me so much about life.
- Although I'm not able to direct or participate on the Biola end of things, the SAY Yes ministry is continuing to thrive under the tremendous blessing and favor of God.
- My heart longs for Uganda everyday and I'm praying and waiting until the Lord releases me to return
- And no, I'm not dating anyone, nor do I plan to fulfill the Biola wishes for a "ring by spring" and I'm completely content in it. :)

PRAISE THE LORD and blessings to you my beloved family and friends!

A few pix of my semester for your enjoyment :) (1. Sara and I bbq in the backyard, 2. Sus and Jonathan's wedding, 3. Sara, Emily and I in OR coast, 4. Heather Alissa and I on New Years Eve)

2007-07-26T01:47:00.001-07:00

Mwesigwa and Norah

John

Baby Ruthy

Peter

Moriah

2007-07-26T01:37:00.001-07:00

Rose

Junior

Tracy

Norah looking smart for school

Baby Jehiah so beautiful

2007-07-26T01:23:00.001-07:00

Baby Ruthy

Baby Norah

Robert and Phinehas

MaryBelle

Mommy with JoAnn and Peter... the first 2 superstars!

On a Hike with Anna and Ezra

Playing on the See-Saw

JoAnn and Auntie Meg

Nursery Girls... so cute!

The pictures you've all been waiting for :)

2007-07-26T01:14:00.001-07:00

the end? or the beginning..

2007-07-22T16:50:00.000-07:00

After a long time of traveling and 4 airplanes, 5 airports later.. I'm in Oregon for a week, to be returning home to LA on saturday. Honestly, I miss it too much. It was a struggle to be back in the western world and all of its big and loudness... but I will enjoy some time with my family here and look forward to enjoying all of my fairvilla family when i return home.

I have learned lots... and am still processing for sure. I am excited to see what God has in store for the future... I have this feeling more and more each day that I will be returning to Uganda permanently. Please pray for me to have wisdom in all of that, and to wait on the Lord and his timing.

In the mean time.. thank you friends and family again and again... for all you've poured into my life. I will live to pour out that which you've poured in to others who may not get it otherwise.

Lots of love,

Meg

coming home already?

2007-07-15T07:50:00.001-07:00

well...today the church had me come up so they could pray over me and bless me as it was my last sunday...i cried, i don't want to leave. the kids ask me everyday to stay and when i will come back... i hope it will be soon enough.

hopefully i will be hugging you soon- telling you thank you for loving me, for believing in me, for supporting me- family and friends... i know you've given me the life I have. I thank God for it everyday. Spending time in an orphanage for 7 weeks can really do something to you... well many things, but one for sure is make you realize how much you appreciate those who have chosen to love you and invest in your life. So thank you beloved ones.

Pray for the duration of my travels all the way back to Oregon for a week and finally returning home to LA. Pray also for this home, the Kirya family and their continued life-long ministry here- while I leave, they remain completely comitted to the vision God has called them to. Please lift them up.

I love you and look forward to embracing you soon.

meg

2007-07-04T05:59:00.000-07:00

July 3, 2007

Today was rainy, but sometimes rain is simply refreshing. There are parts of me that can’t believe my trip is already half way through- and other parts that wish I could spend more time with my friends from home and childhood that I never get to see anyways. But there is so much I want to do here, I feel like I just got here and time has gone by too quickly.

A funny blog story that I must share with everyone… This past Sunday I chose to sit in service instead of teach Sunday school- simply because it’s good for me to be in church as well, and I wanted to hear Pastor John (Deidrah’s husband) speak. So in this church all of the children and adults sing praise and worship songs together in the beginning and then the kids are excused to Sunday school. Throughout worship I had a kid in each hand and a toddler in front of my legs and a baby on my hip ;) No other way I’d want to worship more.. but all that to say, Norah, who is two, began to lean on me and I realized she was going to fall asleep. So I sat down and put her on my lap and within a few minutes she was sleeping. Soon worship ended and all the kids left for Sunday school and the sermon began, but Norah was still asleep so I just let her stay on my lap. However, about ten minutes into the sermon Norah “Su-Su’d” which means “PeePee” in Lusoga, all over my lap. It was so funny—all of a sudden there is a puddle dripping through my chair onto the cement floor and of course I’m sitting in the second row so everyone can see.. and then I walk out of the church and wake Norah up only to realize my entire skirt, legs and shoes are wet in Norah’s SuSu- of course because of the way she was sitting it looks like I wet my pants.. but hey, all you can do is laugh and walk back into church ;)

What other kid stories do I have to share? One neat story is about one of our boys named Mwesigwa. Mwesigwa is six years old, and when I arrived was getting in trouble- and apparently he has been an absolute terror getting in trouble all the time- but I’ve really fallen in love with Mwesigwa and I’ve spent a lot of time trying to affirm him positively and simply see him fresh, pretending I don’t know his track record- and can I tell you I really believe God has big plans for this boy. I see his potential- He is actually very sweet and tender hearted, and one thing I love about him is when he prays. Mwesigwa LOVES to be prayed for when being tucked into bed. Even at nap time, he will ask “will you please come pray for me” – and even today, one of his brothers got hurt and Mwesigwa was first to pray for him with such sincerity. It’s been really neat because he hasn’t been getting in trouble the past two weeks which has been noticed by all- mostly because he used to get into so much trouble. It’s been really fun because he will come to me and say “Auntie Meg, I listened to you, I finished”.. whatever he was told.. and throughout the day I’m able to simply encourage and affirm him in that- I love it. Tonight he very tenderly just wanted to hold my hand and walk around with me wherever I was going in the house, and then when I returned to my desk he would just stand next to me at the desk on his own. I’ve been told his name means “faithful” and I believe it suits him well.

Well I’m laying on my bed nearing 11:00pm and I’m much too tired to be writing anymore… Happy 4th of July too all my American friends ☺ Please enjoy lots of bbq, baked beans, watermelon and cake for me! I hope the fire works are lots of fun.. and auntie Besh…make sure you get the good big ones for me ;)

xoxoox

July already?

2007-06-30T08:52:00.000-07:00

Hi loved ones...

This week went by so fast... I can't believe it is already July! This week has been good and bad both.. good in that I feel it was productive, bad in that I think this week all the kids wanted to see if I really was a trustworthy disciplinarian or if I can be pushed over- so they've all pushed the limits like no other. But thats okay, because between some incredible women at SAY Yes and Beaverton I've learned quite a bit, and in the process I am learning lots of patience and appreciation for mothers! :)

I'm falling for the kids.. pretty much all of them. haha. There are a few in particular who I want to smuggle home... but I know I can't yet. They're so funny- here a way of giving a compliment is to say "you look smart" which is like "you look nice" - i started laughing when this morning i came right out to breakfast with wet hair that i hadn't fixed at all and little Robert looks up at me and says "auntie meg, your hairs look smart" :) so funny. Or Norah, who pretty much is at the prime of her terrible two's and gets in trouble everyday.. yesterday I said "Norah, I heard that you are beating your friend Olga in class, if you beat your friends, who will be your friend?" and without skipping a beat she says "Benja will" - Benja, who is one of her 5 year old brothers, is probably the easiest going kid we have. I laughed so hard, because he would, Benja is so sweet. I've enjoyed being able to get to know the nursery school kids as well.. The school in our home is a nursery school with three classes "baby class" (2-3 years) "middle class (4-5years) "top class" (kindergarten) - they then move to primary school in which they will have 75 kids in one class.. one teacher, one chalkboard and a ton of memorization. It's craziness to me.

This week I've also been working with Junior, who we've discovered through different things this week is dyslexic. There was thoughts that maybe he was before, but I'm pretty positive he is through working on his homework with him this week- So I'm trying to research and pray and figure out some things to help him.. if any of you have experience or know please email me and let me know.

I have also enjoyed teaching sunday school the past two weeks.. we've been studying in Daniel and about doing whats right even when others aren't. I've learned how powerful story is here.. as well as memorizing and singing. So a lot of that is happening sunday mornings :)

A big praise is the fact that while i have missed everyone, I don't feel lonely. I am experiencing God's presence so tender and so close day in and day out. Being the extraverted verbal processing one that I am.. this has been really good, because I am learning to rely on God first even more and I'm thankful for that.

Sorry this is a short update but I need to catch myself a boda before it gets dark.. hope you are all taking care- I love you and am praying for you!

2007-06-23T04:01:00.000-07:00

June 23, 2007

Greetings to all of you who are reading!

It has been yet another eventful week here in Jinja! This week seems like it flew by for me… maybe its because I’m now into my routine and the sense of everything being so new and confusing isn’t so much anymore. Although it was going to be last week, this was the first week that Diana, the girl I am filling in for during her leave, has left for her 3 weeks. But hey, somehow the fort didn’t burn down so I guess that’s good ☺
It’s been a lot of fun actually… This week was salary week so I was able to interact with all of the workers that way, as well this week we sent a letter to parents regarding school fees that need to be paid, so several of them came in to work out an agreement for their child’s situation… which was fun for me because that means I got to meet new people, interact and listen to stories. I was also able to accomplish all of the shopping (mostly) on my own…. There were still a few things I got help from Deidrah for, and praise God for this dear man, David. David and his wife have a produce stand in the main market, but he is so honest and helpful. Because for most everything you negotiate prices here, I’ve been warned that due to my “muzungu” (white) skin, it will be assumed that I can pay more… but David has been very honest and helpful.. and when I’m not sure where the best place to get something is he will show me and walk around the market to help me carry bags (its kinda funny, but those little things you don’t think about.. like how do you carry 18 kilos of potatoes, 4 bags of produce, rice and popcorn all at once?) So everyone should thank God and clap for David ☺ I really enjoy the main market… it has EVERYTHING you can think of… it sort of looks like a massive Saturday market or farmers market, but African style of course. But I love the sounds, the smells and the hustle and bustle of people… its so much fun stimulation in one atmosphere! (Grandma, we could do some great people watching here… too bad you’re not here with me)

The best news of this week would be my little MaryBelle. MaryBelle came home last week two days in a row with a 28% on one exam and a 30% on the other.. since those days I have been making homework sheets for her and during play time we've spent about an hour a day studying. On Thursday MaryBelle came home with a exam score of 70%!!! we rejoiced much! Now we're shooting for 80%! Praise God!

This week I also got sick. It was sort of inevitable due to the fact that almost all of the kids are sick right now. I was having sinus pressure and stuffed up nose for a few days, which wasn’t a big deal, but then I started having a sore throat and so the combination of having to breathe out of my mouth with a sore throat was not helpful and it all went down hill from there. On Wednesday I decided to take a half day off and just slept for the afternoon. Deidrah used to be a nurse which is great so she got me some drugs, but I have a very high pain tolerance, so unfortunately after taking them and sleeping all day I got worse, not better. At about 7:00 pm I had completely lost my voice to nothing and was in really bad pain, so she took me to the doctor, who said I have “toncilitis” and prescribed super dee-dooper pain killers as well as a strong antibiotic and by the next morning I was already feeling much better. I’m still not recovered fully, but getting better each day and rejoicing that it was as short lived as it was.
This afternoon I have planned an “internet café” field trip for our kids Saturday fun…we have reserved all 24 of the computers they have and we will play some fun and educational games on the internet and give the kids a chance to explore computers a bit… I hope it goes well.

Another fun part of this week was Tuesday night in which I made my Dad’s spaghetti for the kids… it was pretty hilarious because there are certain ingredients that we can’t get.. so instead of meat balls or italian sasauge we had hot dogs.. haha but the kids don’t know.. and the tomato paste here is literally paste.. so that was interesting, because it was so thick and bitter.. that’s okay I added lots and lots of sugar. Haha. It was pretty fun to make dinner for 40 people.. in one GIANT saucepan. The kids reaction was interesting, some loved it and most complained it was too hot. It definetly wasn’t hot, but because their diet is so bland I’m sure their mouths were on fire. Oops. Oh well it was a fun experience anyways and I think they liked the fact that “auntie meg” made dinner.

I hope you are all getting settled into summer and enjoying whatever that means for you. You are all missed, and God constantly brings individuals to mind. I wish I could talk to you all. Please keep me updated on your lives and let me know how I can be praying for you.

LOTS and LOTS of love. Oxoxoxxo

p.s. I could totally be happy living in uganda…

2007-06-17T06:11:00.001-07:00

2007-06-17T06:06:00.000-07:00

Journal 4

2007-06-17T06:03:00.000-07:00

June 16th

Today was quite the day…. Our home, AFTC, participated in the local representation of a national annual day called “Day of the African Child”. Every year on June 16th there is a day to celebrate children as well as educate the community on issues regarding African children. This years theme was child trafficking. So in between speeches children from different groups like schools, scouts and orphanages participated by representing songs, dramas, drumming and dances and poems. It was fun to watch some of the traditional dances with the drumming – I love it ;) Our kids did a great job as well… they sang 3 songs and recited a poem with hand motions and all – It was very cute.. especially when they said “Give us medical care” and all gave themselves injections in their bums ;) Robert, one of our kindergarten boys, led the group in the mic with all his might.. it was adorable. Everyone is napping now as I sit here typing while laying on my bed resting as well.
Last night I sitting on the floor with the aunties as we were preparing six loaves of peanut butter and jelly for lunches today and the floor began to rumble… we had a small earthquake. It wasn’t too bad but we definetly stood up to hold the cupboard doors shut as the dishes rattled. It only lasted about 4 minutes or so. But hey, it was an earthquake so I thought it was worth reporting ☺
Please continue to pray for me to have wisdom and creativity from heaven as I seek to assist and support this home, nursery school and Sunday school in the very best way I can. Yesterday was a difficult day, it seemed like every time we turned around there was some kind of problem needing to be addressed. As you can imagine, days like this cause both kids and grown ups to be tired and weary. In addition to it being a weary “day in the office” there have been 5 cases of Malaria in the past two weeks and it seems like everyone is coughing and sick with your typical cold. It was pretty funny when I told the kids to line up for meds last night.. there were so many they had to sit against a wall to wait their turn and they took up the whole distance of the wall. I am also not feeling well, with sinus infection symptoms and a sore throat and aching body… but PRAISE the Lord NO MALARIA even after being off on my meds. So for that I am very grateful.
How are all of you? I think of you all the time. Amanda Joelle I can’t wait to hear about your time here as well…Kaylamayla I just miss you too much and I can’t wait to hear everything about Europe. TT I’m praying for your summer courses… hang in there sis. Saaas… I miss your hugs ;) Heather, how is your new home? Miss VannySchmanny I found a pair of express jeans in the market yesterday and was thinking about you ;)
Someone please send me an update on Beaverton-Four camps… I’ve been praying for them lots… my heart is there and missing it lots.
Today, June 16th is my Momma’s Birthday… so if you know her, you should call her and tell her how wonderful she is. Mom, as I’m here living in another home and exploring the world for myself, I’m realizing that most everything I do and think is because of you and your love for me. Thank you for giving me everything you have, especially your words, which I hear repeat themselves in my mind all the time. I wish you could be here experiencing Uganda with me.
Well that should be enough writing for today… LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

Journal 3

2007-06-17T06:02:00.000-07:00

June 12, 2007

So I had to write an update today because I did something crazy that everyone ought to know about ☺ I ate a grasshopper! Yup, that’s right… I ate a grasshopper. My dear Ugandan sister Diana convinced me that they’re “really nice” and “just like chips or sweets” hahaha… not so much… but after much freaking out I made up my mind and chomp chomp away grass hopper eating I did! Although I forgot my camera at home (I know what you’re thinking, I don’t know what’s wrong with me either) there is another visitor here who used hers to document this event so you will have a few pictures to see that I did in fact consume grasshopper! Haha.
The past two days I’ve spent mostly in the office trying to wrap my brain around how to create/implement different systems to try and make things run smoother. There is so much that takes place, it’s truly an amazing place- I’m praying that God will give me some insight and ideas of ways to make the burden seem lighter for everyone.
I’ve had a tough time watching kids get sick… since I’ve been here we’ve had two cases of Malaria. Malaria is really awful… it’s a super high fever with shaking and throwing up and moving from hot- to cold in extremes… I hate watching these little ones suffering. Selfishly, It’s been a good opportunity for me to get some one on one time as they have stayed home from school and I’ve been able to check on them regularly. I treasure one on one time and it’s pretty difficult to get. I also got some time with MaryBelle, who didn’t do so well on her mid-term tests, so I gladly took the opportunity to go over them with her and help figure out what she isn’t understanding.
I hope that all of you are doing well and that summer is bringing rest and the joys of a new season. Know that I’ve been praying for all of you who are preparing for camps at Beaverton, for all of my friends who are wedding planning, and those of you recent graduates who are seeking direction for the next season of life ;)
Please continue to pray for me and for my communication with all who I am working with. Pray that I would have understanding of how best to bless this place and these hard working men and women, as well as how to love and teach the children.

9 days!

2007-06-10T05:41:00.000-07:00

Hello beloved friends and family...

I have been in Uganda for 9 days now... and It has been a full and eventful week! I am actually writing at the internet cafe right now, so this will be a short update, but I will try to write more frequently throughout the week so I can upload them on the weekends. Today my heart misses home, as in Portland home, for it DOWNPOURED all day... I think God was thinking of me and my love for the rain ;) We almost didn't make it to church because the minibus (which was taking all 39 of us) was stuck in the puddles...more like gaping holes ;) But at last we did, we got to church in time for the sermon, which was so good for me to hear.

This next week please be praying for me as I now will be fulfilling Deidrah's administrator position while her administrator is on leave for two weeks... this means I am in charge of all the shopping, accounting, attending mtgs for "day of african child" this weekend, and plenty more of office type stuff :) I am enjoying Jinja and the Ugandan's here so much. I will miss Diana, who is the administrator I am covering for, while she is gone. She has been a very good friend to me and helped me to learn all I need to know to make my way around town.

Last night I was able to attend a Ugandan wedding in Kampala, the capital. It was incredible... I'm told it was a "well to do" wedding, it was definetly a party!

I have now been able to learn all of the children's names and have also been having fun teaching them games and reading books. Thanks to Melinda who has given me games out my ears that take nothing but kids and smiles :) I also subsitute taught "top class" this week, which was the kindergarteners... that was an interesting expereience :) Please pray as I will teach the sunday school the next two sundays from now... I think we are going to talk about Daniel, but I'm still praying about it.

Happy Birthday to Aunt Charity and soon to my Mommma - I miss you family.

To my Malawian family, I miss you so much... Being in Africa makes me think about you all the time. And here in Uganda, I'm now a "muzungu" not an "azunugu" but hey, its all the same. And the samosas- they're still wonderful! :) Oh and for Vic... "oonnne, two...oonnne, two"

Okay, all for now.. but please leave me msgs and tell me how you all are!

To my Fairvilla family... I MISS YOU! I'm loving your letters...and chocolate :) Emily, I find myself praying for you in the middle of the night often... and Saas... keep it up with CS Lewis ;) xoxoxoox

love you all,
meg

arrival!

2007-06-10T05:40:00.000-07:00

June 4, 2007
Update # 1

Hello friends and family!

For those of you who have been wondering… yes I did make it to Uganda ;) Although I was minutes away from missing a connecting flight in Chicago, God is good and I just made it on. My traveling was really not that bad, funny, but it really felt like it went by pretty quickly. I think I have had so much on my mind that I hadn’t been able to think about with being so busy with school and all that I didn’t realize how much thinking I could do during the 32 hours of traveling that my trip took in total. I did loose my baggage, however, which has been a kind of a pain – but it hasn’t been so bad, one of the girls here Anna, is about my size so she graciously offered to share some clothes with me and today I went to the market to purchase some soap, shampoo, a skirt and some other necessities. I’m praying my luggage makes it here soon. Mostly because it has my malaria pills (as well as mosquito repellent) in it, so I am relying on God’s grace for health right now ;)
Jinja is a beautiful city- so much life and activity. I love all the colors, smells, and sounds. The sound of Life. Jinja is far more developed than Ntcheu was, lots more- it almost feels like the states in comparison. I was able to ride on the back of a motorbike back home… let me tell ya, Disneyland gots nothing on this ride ;) My goodness I was hanging on for dear life as we FLY amongst other people walking, on bikes, cars, and over pot- holes, etc. It was fabulous. And here I am, thinking I might die, and I look over and see a woman on a motor bike next to me, sitting on sideways because of her skirt, not holding on to the bike, but talking on her cell phone! I was put to shame ;)
There are 25 children in addition to the six in the Kirya family here. Wow, this is a huge amount of kids to be living in one home ☺ Part of me thinks its craziness and the other part thinks its amazing. I’m still learning all of the names, but they certainly all have named me “Auntie Meg” which is pronounced “Auuntie Magah”. They are absolutely beautiful, very sweet and full of energy! Here in the home is also a nursery school, which I was able to help in the 4-5 year old class today, very fun, very interesting. So different in some ways, yet so the same in others.
Please continue to pray for me, I have much to learn and while I have been shown nothing but love and hospitality, I am far from home and in very unfamiliar territory. Pray for insight, wisdom, sensitivity, strength and for good communication. Thank you for your prayers support- I am so blessed to have all of your love.

Meg

its here!

2007-05-31T02:40:00.000-07:00

So... I'm leaving for the airport in 3 hours... I haven't yet gone to bed. Life is crazy in my world... haha. The past week has been so full... graduation, lots of families here for graduation celebrations, church on sunday, memorial day monday, and then our house has been deep cleaning (hoping for that security deposit....lol) and i've been packing both for Uganda and for moving in only 2 days when I return. aye yay ye.... one thing to the next so fast its hard for me to keep up. I'm excited to finally be in Uganda and just be there. I'm not so much looking forward to the traveling time, but hey, it will be a good time for me to mentally process the flying at the speed of lightening pace of my life and hopefully i can sleep as well. I appreciate everyone who has been so good to me in the past few days... between the 500.00 that came in one week, to my precious friends who have been helping me to get everything I need- To my wonderful roommates who have sent me with letters and snacks and journals and love... i am so blessed and im so thankful for that. Thank you all... I love you so much. I know this blog is incredibly scattered...but its nearly 3 am and well I inhaled a lot of soft scrub and scrubby bubbles today and who knows what that can do to your brain cells... ahaha. next time i write I will be in uganda :) <3333 meg

"You Lord are a shield about me, everywhere, everywhere that I go...."

Getting closer...

2007-05-06T18:07:00.000-07:00

I find my mind dwelling on Uganda much these days. So many emotions as I wait in eager expectation and anticipation, yet there is nervousness and fear as well. I was just taking a 15 minute "nap" which really just meant laying on the couch and breaking from the 24 hour around the clock homeworking. As I laid I my mind went to thinking about how comfortable my life is here. I know its good to be content, but something deep on the inside is constantly screaming at me "this isn't it, theres more to this life, you're not living the LIFE that I have for you" - I know God has more in store, and I'm ready to see it. I was in the Library last week, sitting in one of those big comfy lazy boy chairs. Why those are in the library I don't know, because really they're just for taking naps... who can really get work done in a lazy boy when its quiet? Haha, but I was sitting there typing away on my laptop, when all of a sudden I felt this complete discontent with my situation. It wasn't a discontent in an ungrateful way, don't get me wrong, I am so blessed to be in college and having the opportunity to learn. It was just that as I sat there I thought, this is not my life, I was not made to sit and write papers on a laptop, and I began to imagine the numerous little faces that will look up at me as I hold them in my arms. I can see them in my spirit, and I could imagine them as I was sitting in that lazy boy chair. I believe God has graced my life with a means of being a spiritual momma to many many children without. My heart is flooded with excitment as I anticipate being able to love, hold, declare truth over, speak life into, pray for and be Jesus' hands and feet to Ugandan children this summer.

"....you're faithful, and I'm grateful...Lord I thank you..."

<3

Tickets!

2007-04-12T00:05:00.000-07:00

So my tickets were dropped off by the Fed-Ex man today.... which means its for real, totaly official, its happening... IM GOING TO UGANDA! ayye ye ye.... im so excited. I'm also really quite nervous to tell the truth... traveling out of the country alone for 30 + hours does not sound appealing to me. To be honest, that traveling part scares me a bit. Partly because I'm not a very familiar with international traveling and how the airport procedures work, etc, but also because I think I'm going to go insane without friends to talk to for that long of time. Haha, those of you who know me well are chuckling with me at the thought of Meg not trying to verbally process for more than a whole day. oooh the poor soul who is going to sit by me in the plane ;) On a more serious note, I really do think that choosing to spend seven weeks in another country on my own, or well, without close friends or internship buddies, is a step of faith God is asking me to take. Am I a bit freaked out? Oh you betchya I am... but I'm also looking forward to the anticipated growth that will come as I'm forced to trust and rely on my good Father more than ever before. Please keep this area in prayer as you remember me both in preparation for and during my trip. Thanks friends... love you all!

...strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord.....

starters

2007-03-25T00:27:00.000-07:00

hey all... i just began this new blog as a means to update when I'm in Uganda... lets hope it works well :)

meg