Post Graduation= Weird

Graduation Party! Sara, myself and Alissa looking ready for the real world!
Miss Vanny Schmanny doing her groove thang!
Ashley looking beautiful on her wedding day!
Em came to visit!!! YAAAAAY!
My mom and I in Ensenada on the cruise stop

So It's been a month since graduation now... and I can say, while its been a nice release for my head... I'm starting to wonder what I'm supposed to do with myself. I constantly feel guilty for not reading, doing homework, or feeling that I'm busy enough. This is probably wrong.. but it's just how it feels. I've hung out with people more than ever before- its been fun, but so strange. At the same time, I need a job. I need a job that is only for a short amount of time but that will let me work a lot of hours... hmm don't really know. I think once I start working again I will feel better, because right now I feel like I'm doing nothing productive and it's a hard place to be.

This month has been interesting, however. I was able to vacation on a four day cruise with my parents and brother, which was a nice break from stress land. I then returned to pack up my room and move yet again. This time in with a wonderful couple from my church, who have graciously opened their home to me. I couldn't be more blessed...its truly an incredible gift. After moving I finished my job at the elementary school, only to realize that until I have another reliable car, I really am not going to be able to get another job. So... first Emily came to visit and we hung out for 3 fantastic days... then I went to Oregon. The trip to Oregon was primarily to purchase a car (which I did, its an awesome older 4runner), but in the mean time I attended long-time friends wedding celebration and saw a bunch of people I haven't seen in a long time. Again, weird, but good at the same time. So finally I'm back in SoCal, glad to be here, and thankful for the home I have... yet not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing this summer...feeling a bit lost and directionless. It's a bit lonely as all my friends are now scattered throughout the nation- and I've recently been realizing that I don't really know how to make friends anymore. It was simple in college; you were either in class together or living together so becoming friends wasn't too tough- now it's not quite the same.

In the midst of a very odd month, however, I know in my spirit that God is up to something, and it's something good. I'm more hungry for His word than I have ever been before, and I'm longing to move to higher heights and deeper depths in relationship with him. All around me people are getting married and engaged...it seems like another person every weekend... yet in the midst of all of that all my heart longs for is to know my God more, and to understand what He is desiring for me.

Here are some random pictures for updating :0)

Adjustments

So many changes have occured in the past few weeks... Only a few weeks ago I was crazily abandoning sleep, relationships, and everything else in life in order to make it to graduation day. And then so fast it came and went... My family traveled down to be here, my friends came and we partied it up all night- I am so blessed. My family then took a trip, which is worth a whole blog entry of itself... but I come back and all my roommates are gone- I'm moving in one week, my job is over in 9 days...and I really have no idea what to do with myself.
College is one long season of instability. Not only that, but my car was totaled by a drunk driver a few weeks ago... which leaves me without a vehicle. God has been so faithful to provide one every moment I've needed thus far.. so all glory to him- yet to say, just when I thought life was getting settled and normal... it's not. I have a sense that this is not going to be untypical of the future God has prepared for me. I will likely be a traveling missionary- not living an "unstable" life, but one in which HE is my only Rock- my fortress and my God.
God is teaching me to find his presence in the midst of the storm. For a while I would pray that the storm would go away and I would beg to know why God allowed me to be in the storm- but now I'm learning that God allows me to hide in the shadow of his wings, right in the middle of the storm, but not be affected by it. It is here in this secret place, that I have a front row seat to watch the power of displayed HE calms the storm.
So taking it one day at a time is pretty much my motto right now... each day has enough troubles of its own. and I have nothing but praise and thanksgiving to my Father.. who has been so faithful. I graduated from Biola- a place I never thought I would be able to afford or go to... I have had a car provided for me whenever its been needed... I am moving into free housing this summer, the fulfillment of God's word to me. He is great and greatly to be praised!